Over the years i’ve come to realize just how important an inner circle is….and I find myself blessed not only when I have friends by my side who’ll constantly strengthen me, but also when i’ve lost friends because i’ve outgrown them or I tend to wise up and see something’s not right. Last year I went through a lovely and funtastic experience of pain and loss due to the end of an 11 year long friendship; my loved ones could always see this friendship wasn’t a healthy one but I couldn’t…so God led this person to end it. I couldn’t understand why it happened, but I now see it had to go that way…everything happens for a reason right? Because of the end of that friendship, i’ve made more time for other people, things and God…which before, were neglected at times. I’m currently on the road to recovery from drinking and smoking; which in itself aren’t necessarily bad things unless its replacing what God should be doing + being asthmatic like myself. I smoked and drank to forget about pain/to stop worrying and other things God can take care of, until last year March I made a decision which wasn’t the first time…to give it up completely and so far I’ve been doing great; because of those around me. I hated the fact that I had to give this up though, I hated the fact that i’m young and I have to fight demons that seem like pleasure to others, but I have a friend that would always encourage me…who’d always say God has a plan for me and this is just my journey to take…others have another journey thats hard for them, a journey that they hate just like me. A sister who’ll always tell me she’s proud of me and the reason I even started this blog…I didn’t think I had anything to share but she showed me that I do in fact have a lot to say. A mother who’ll make drinks at times eg. Sorrel *Jamaican Drink* and prepare a special container for me thats alcohol free. My Father will buy Non-Alcohol wine for me…and we’ll drink it together. Another friend, instead of forcing me to drink an alcoholic beverage with her…got me a drink on my birthday that looks like it could be alcoholic to fool the outside world but in fact its really not. Because of my sobriety; i’ve had to make decisions about certain things…I made the decision to stop drinking because it always makes me want to smoke + do other things I wudnt do when i’m sober…which then means I have to be mindful about the people I hang out with, not everyone will be encouraging or understanding in the decisions you make, and I have to be careful about the places I go; I might be clean and sober for over 10 months but the desire to drink and smoke is still there, which can be quite lonely, it wasn’t easy at first but I have a great accountability group…people who’ll cheer me on and not be afraid to pull me back in line when needed. Had I not felt the pain and loss because of the end of my year long friendship…I wouldn’t have smoked/drank that night in March, I wouldn’t have woken up the next day pledging to never do it again and I wouldn’t have experienced the strength and power in someone’s support and love.
Thank God for the supporters he has blessed me with, at times I don’t think we realize how important we are to others; our actions and words can either lift others up or tear them down. I wish to lift others up, as they’ve done for me and I hope you do too. “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17 NIV God Bless ✌️💕