“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Peter answered, “You are the Messiah.” Mark 8:29
So last night was a pretty powerful night for me; for many reasons : #1 I’ve been away from Celebrate Recovery due to a knee injury for over a month, last night was my long awaited return! #2 I got to see my favorite people and my forever family in Christ. #3 I was able to take part in my “Step Study Graduation Ceremony” aka Cardboard Testimony with some amazing women that i’m privileged to know and call friends. I know it was a powerful night before I even got there because I was terrified and filled with doubts. The image I posted here is my “after”, the person God says I am and through my step study I’m able to see them a bit clearer now – not perfectly, but clearer. I find it hard at times to believe anyone sees those things in me, let alone God, but he does. Before I left my house last night, I thought – who am I kidding, noone’s gonna think I’M feminine/beautiful/strong. I can fool them and say I’ve been restored because that’s mainly on the inside, but the others? The world says those are all on the outside, they’re visible. Being feminine in this world means wearing make up, wearing heels – even if you cant walk in them, having your hair all curly or pinned up so you look cute; not in a ponytail. Beauty and strength are shown on the outside, at least that’s what society says; so everyone sees it only as a physical thing, many times the enemy and sometimes I even tell myself that I am none of the above. Why am I not? Because I look at the next person and compare myself to their beauty, their strength and their femininity and I come up short. I’m not like ‘her’ so I’m not who God says I am, apparently I seem to know more than God. He looks at things differently though, not the way the world sees it but he sees true beauty for what it is, he sees through the makeup or the batman tshirts and cargo pants and he sees what’s really there. He sees strength when we silently say no to something/someone we feel we ‘need’ at any given time but deep down we know its not what’s best or when we allow ourselves to cry because of pain or grief. He sees true Femininity when we respond to his calling or when we are compassionate towards others – by showing empathy and acting on that. To him beauty is smiling at that person who seems lost or scared and taking the time to talk to them, even if you are scared or seem lost yourself. I see that I’m strong and beautiful on the inside AND outside, some days, another time I will doubt that’s even a possibility. I keep praying that I will get to that place where I will see myself for who I truly am, who God sees me as and who HE says I am. I wrote about this before, that I was fortunate enough to attend a Leadership Training back in February of this year and during the end of it, our Open Share Group Leader asked us all to write something for each lady in our group. A friend from this group wrote out names of who I am, who God says I am and what she sees in me that I probably don’t see as yet. Those names became a part of or probably the main part of my cardboard testimony, I wasn’t able to include all the names so I will write them here – AGAIN.
Worthy of Love
White As Snow
You can click the links below to check out the posts I made about the training if you wish to ⬇️
You are Blessed and Loved! 💙💜✌🏾️✍🏾