Wounded Warrior

I’ve had the idea of this post since couple weekends ago, I watched the movie Unbroken and there’s this line/quote in it that really encouraged me. Louis Zamperini’s brother Pete said it to him as Louis was boarding his train – “A moment of pain is worth a lifetime of glory.” I was having a horrible day that Saturday because I hadnt slept well the night before, lack of sleep makes me extra emotional/sensitive to stuff and so I wasnt having it that day. I wanted to watch something not only to cheer me up but to uplift me, some may say Unbroken isnt a very uplifting movie because its about war/death/torture but the minute I saw the title “Unbroken” I knew it was what I wanted or maybe needed. My knee isn’t broken and neither am I. Well tonight im at that place again where I need something to uplift me. I cant seem to take my eyes of my situation/discomfort, how does one feel pain yet choose not to dwell on it? I have the enemy whispering in my ear saying i’m not getting better, im getting worst, im back where I started , im doing it all wrong etc. I caught that thought as it popped in my head today and I had to stop it…no im NOT back where I started, its painful, it sucks, I hate it but God who is faithful promises that he’s still at work in me. Hes healing me from the inside out. Its my brother’s birthday today and as we sat around the table eating and talking about our day, in the background Kings & Country’s Shoulder was playing; I had no idea I needed that song until the tears started to well up in my eyes. I keep asking God, “What else do you have to teach me?” “Why am I still HERE?” “Why am I still feeling this pain?” He isn’t really clear with all that as yet except that its for my good and HIS glory. I remember feeling so weak/foolish when I read Psalm, with all King David went through and here I am complaining about MY pain…regardless of how small my pain is in comparison to David’s, its still pain. God sees it, he knows it hurts and he knows I don’t  understand it or like it, he also sees that i’m leaning on him more and he’s pleased with me. In the past I would switch on the tv and tell it to comfort me, id go on social media and say be my friend, id even listen to music instead of listening to God. Since this knee injury and even before it, but moreso during all this pain – God has been my constant companion, I mess up at times cuz im human but im with him alot now than I have been, hes always been with me but im noticing that I haven’t always been with HIM. 

Thank you for loving me God, I contantly fail you but you never fail – you’re faithful and true. You promise to heal and transform me from the inside out and I trust you’re doing it now even as im in pain. 

1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains

    where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the Lord,

    the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip

    he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel

    will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The Lord watches over you

    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

7 The Lord will keep you from all harm

    he will watch over your life;

8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going

    both now and forevermore. 

– Psalm 121 

πŸ’œβœŒπŸΎοΈ

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