“Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.” – 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14
I need this passage right now. I did some work in my grief share workbook and while I felt release for awhile because I was able to cry, at the moment I’m sad. I’m thinking about my cousin’s birthday on Sunday and craving some cigarettes to take the pain away and give me some release. I know that wouldn’t help so I told two accountability partners that I have a strong desire to smoke. Talking on the phone with one, she asked how I am and after awhile I said I’m sad. All I kept saying was that I’m sad, I had no other way to describe it but that I’m sad. I told her about my cousin’s birthday coming up and that I have the afternoon free that day and I don’t know what to do with that part of my day. I thought about writing him a letter and maybe doing some journaling but I don’t want to have to dig deep, in tired of digging deep to get to my feelings. She then asked me about memories I’ve shared with CG, what are some the things we’d do together and immediately playing dominoes came to mind. She suggested that I do that on his birthday to honor him and that way it’s lighthearted and I don’t have to dig deep but it’s doing something that we both enjoyed. That allowed me to cry and feel peace, I have hope that I’ll see him again because he died in Christ and so while it’s hurting here, I can do something like play a game of dominoes and say I love you, I miss you and Happy Birthday. I’ll also light a candle for him on his special day – Dec 11. He was a gem and a part of me was taken when he left, some days it feels like he took all of me with him and some days it’s just a part. Today it’s a mixture of those.