New Name

What is it about our false self and lies that makes it so hard for us to let them go? We’re called mean and hurtful things to our faces, behind closed doors, in our mind and as much as we hate those words and names, the letting go part seems impossible. We say no that’s not me, here’s who I am but like a dog returns to it’s vomit so we return to these lies about who we truly are. The lies I hear tells me I’m ugly, gay, fat, skinny, stupid, alone, not woman enough, not enough, a burden, not safe etc Because we are so used to these lies, they’ve become a part of us and a way to let them go is to renew our minds. How do we renew our minds? For me its to speak truths over myself when those lies come in and this is hard, I have heard these lies for so long so speaking the truth for a month or two won’t get rid of them for good. I listen to encouraging songs that speaks life and truth, I surround myself with people who are walking alongside me and choose to spur me on to love and good deeds instead of only looking out for themselves by tearing me down one way or another. It might not be everyone’s cup of tea but I spend time in the word, I invite God in and ask him to show me who I really am, sometimes I receive his truth about me easily while sometimes it takes a while to believe. I hear God’s truth about me in nature; a sunset/sunrise/the waves/rainbows and butterflies and I hold onto those truths. Holding onto the lies about who we are can be very draining because when we believe the lies, we’re not living life as our true selves, we’re being imitations and that will never bring peace or joy. Jesus says we are a city on a hill, salt of the earth and light of the world  *See Matthew 5 : 13-16* – how can we be all that when we don’t believe it or know who we truly are? How can we accept that we’ve been found and saved if we still believe we’re lost and irredeemable? The answer is we can’t. We can try, we can get somewhere but we won’t get to the place we’re meant to go unless we start to see and believe the truths about who we are. It’s hard for me to speak or write when I walk in believing I can’t, that he or she is better, those aren’t my gifts/i’m no good at it. Those lies tell me to quit before I’ve even begun and it leaves room for self doubt and discouragement. I listen to those lies and others will never get to hear what I have to say whether it be spoken words or words in writing. Someone will always be better than I am, and as I write that I see that might also be a lie. Why do we have to be “better” than someone else, can’t we just be equals? My writing and speaking style is different from others, does it mean they’re better than I am or vice a versa? Nope! It just means we have different styles because we have different gifts and personalities. 

I had an amazing and beautiful opportunity to work on and showcase my cardboard testimony last night at my CR with women i’ve grown to love for more than 9 months now. This was the 1st time I worked on my cardboard and I didn’t compare it with anyone else’s. I had fun working on it and because God has been working in me, my creative side that I didn’t know existed till last year played a huge role. I believed the words I had on my cardboard, no matter what the others had written on their board, I knew what mine said and I believed every word. I believed where I was before and I believe I am who God says I am now….Brand New. I am no longer lost and worn out, living in sin/chaos, darkness or confusion. In the past I couldn’t believe that verse about being a new creation in Christ and now I do. I couldn’t fight the lies with the truth and while its still hard, I keep fighting because I don’t want to live the lies anymore. People won’t know the real me if I don’t even know who she is or if I really like her. I am NOT my thoughts. I am NOT my feelings. I am NOT my weaknesses. I am NOT my failures. I am NOT my mistakes. I am NOT my shortcomings. I am NOT my dysfunction.

I am a Child of God

I am a daughter of the most high King

I am Found

I am Seen

I am Wanted

I am Loved

I am Pursued

I am God’s Temple & Dwelling Place

I am Whole

I am Wise

I am a Woman – this one still gives me heart palpitations but I had to write it because it IS who I am

I am a Friend, a sister, an aunt, a daughter etc

I am Transformed

I am Courageous

I am Brave

I am a Survivor

I am Beautiful

I am Enough

I am Brand New!

Hosanna Poetry – I have a New Name πŸ’•



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